A Laconic Poem 

Teary eyes, damaged heart, lost soul

Choked throat, voiceless lips, solitary whole

Shattered hopes, heavy bosom, fiendish mind

Cold nerves, clustered thoughts, ghostly past behind

Paranoia, schizophrenia, hysteria

Adrift path, shaky legs, drapetomania 

Coming back, futile life, decision rigid 

Bright light, new world, and Death arrived!
 

This is somewhat a different style in poetry, which I tried to encompass in my own naive way.
(Also, I didn’t feel like giving this poem a title according to it’s theme, cause’ I want particularly this one to be open to all interpretations, if there are many though :P)

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31 Comments Add yours

  1. freebryd says:

    I’m still learning on how to create a great headline. But I would title it ‘A Fresh Start on Life’. Seems to speak about 2nd chances, and overcoming your fears.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I guess every writer faces this problem of choosing the apt title for his/her writing :P.
      Anyhow, your title is based on your interpretation of the poem, which is pretty nice. XD

      Liked by 2 people

  2. This poem is amazing, I love the loose ends for they leave lots of room for interpretation. I also learned what drapetomania is (very interesting concept actually), so thank you.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you very much. 😀
      I read that word in some book regarding phobias. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re welcome. That’s cool 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      2. The caseworkers memoirs is the book as far as I can remember. Read it long back. ^_^

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Never heard of it, but I’m considering checking it out ^^ Thanks

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Haha. Alright. I wasn’t aware of it until my friend suggested. Pretty much not the usual our “generation stuff”. 😛

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Yeah, definitely not xD

        Liked by 2 people

  3. very interesting choice of words Srishti and what a cool idea to leave the interpretation open to the readers. A title based on my interpretation of your beautiful poem – choosing pain.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you Aradhana. :*
      Title according to your interpretation is a good one. I wanted each and everyone of you to freely think about this one.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome Srishti. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Sindhuja R says:

    A good one – different from usual and open to interpretation as you’ve said!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for reading sindhuja. 😀

      Like

  5. Rajagopal says:

    This poem presents a series of images, like swiftly moving scenes of a movie trailer, fast-cut, slickly edited scenes leaving you yearning for a fuller vision. I will title it, ‘from despair to salvation’….best wishes, srishti…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You are very close to my interpretation. I am glad someone could relate it my way. But it’s always cheerful to see how differently others comprehend your work. 😀
      Ps: I should say you have a keen observer’s eye.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I think the picture is the title and the poem expresses the pressure, deep down within, necessary to produce a diamond. This poem is a gem!:0)

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you Pam, for reading it so brilliantly that you have interpreted the connection with the image. 😀
      Anyhow, you are a writer and know how much different apprehensions a writer can have. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That and I use paintings to inspire detail in my writing…maybe I cheated a little? lol!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahahahahaha. Hey, you can’t cheat. :P. Anyway, paintings/art pieces are something which inspires me too, but they are just too beautiful that while expressing them, I feel- ” Am I able to significantly express it?”

        Liked by 1 person

      3. No…”a picture is worth 1,000 words” at least, but looking at them gives my writing perspective.:0)

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I get your point. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I love what you do with words. Great work indeed.
    I’ll be glad if you could visit my blog too.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you very much. :*
      I will visit your blog ASAP. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Visit awaited. Thanks. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  8. stacilys says:

    I really like this poem, the choice of style and words. I like how you brought someone from hopelessness to hope. And not just the act of that, but the decision to not stay in despair and hopelessness, but to fight against it and take action. It also speaks to me of someone that was lost in darkness, but then chose to come into the light. But what I really want to point out is the part at the very end. The poem goes from one that was in darkness, but came into the light, but then died. For me, this is very strong, because I believe that true freedom is found in dying to one’s self. That true freedom and life is found in that.
    🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey. I am amazed by your interpretation. You won’t believe most of the people sent me messages saying that this particular poem is too ambiguous and not easily understandable, and I don’t like forcing my interpretation to anyone, I like my readers to have freely imagine whatever they want to. You, I’m the contrary have depicted a lot of emotions I tried to engulf in this poem.
      I appreciate your comment a lot. 😀
      Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. stacilys says:

        You’re more than welcome. I really enjoyed this one. I like poems that are meaty. And I think this one was meaty. Interesting that people thought it ambiguous. I guess it all has to do with world view and sociological perception.
        You did a great job.
        Have a great week.
        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Have a great week you too.
        Cheers!

        Liked by 1 person

  9. ladycamecu says:

    I love the stretching of one’s vocabulary! Sometimes what a poem means to you it may not mean to someone else anyway which is not always a bad thing as long as it elicits an emotional response. We sometimes may prefer it to be similar to that of the style we were writing like romantic or happy but if it makes someone sad b/c they lost their loved one but they still love your poem and it inspires them to push forward then you have done them a great justice!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s possibly a very good way of interpreting. I am happy that I have readers like you. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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