A childish story

I completed this very short story just half an hour before and thought of posting it ASAP. I would appreciate everyone’s comment for this one because this one’s really close to my heart.
 

Someone was touching perhaps the outer body of mine, but I am not so sure whether that is my outer skin, or would the final membrane of the bubble in which I am, be called my last layer? I don’t know. 

I could just sense that something was happening around my last, last, circle because the reverberations were reaching me.*

The globule in which I reside cannot be touched by anyone, like not even a single soul except my own self. It’s completely sheltered. Protected by whom, I don’t know! 

So, whatever was happening was beyond my reach but then why was I affected by it? Perhaps, my guardian knows. 

Anyway!

This whole circumscribe in which I am, nourishes me in every possible way. I am growing hastily. I am going to be really big

I can move but the area is small and sometimes I don’t even try to be in motion; nonetheless, I still feel movement. I guess when the chaperone moves I also move along with it. But why? 

Maybe I am inside my protector. How can that be true, though? Is someone else inside me too? And then inside that person there is another person and another in that one too and so on…
Phew!

                           ***

Oh no, what is happening. Where am I going? 

I resist all the outside force and try to remain in my place, but I guess I don’t have that much strength. 

Where is my protector? Why isn’t it doing anything? 

They pulled me out finally but the atmosphere is weird, the bubble is missing, the serenity is lost, and the place is unknown, wrong.

And then I don’t know what I did, how I did. I made an unusual sound, a liquid was flowing through my face and I was somehow feeling better now.**

Someone held me in its arms, I am sure this is my chaperone, I could feel it. Hmm, more better. I am safe. The liquid stopped flowing and I slept.

(A baby was born)

*The father of the child is caressing the mother’s belly.

**The outright cry of the new-born baby.

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101 Comments Add yours

  1. archana235 says:

    Amazingly written =) loved how you played around with the story and lead it right down to revealing what it was about.
    It brought a smile on my face! :’D
    Haha this also reminds me of this fact of how newborns cry constatly because, any kind of discomfort is literally the worst feeling they’ve experienced.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Archana, thanks a lot for reading and appreciating. πŸ˜€
      And yeah babies feel this is an alien land, when they are just born!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. archana235 says:

        Yup. πŸ˜€ The kid sometimes could have some legit reasons to be scared too. Remember how in 3 idiots, the parents bestow upon the 2 minute old baby, the societal expectations of becoming a successful engineer? xD
        Lol straying off topic.
        No problem, Srishti. =)

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahahaha yeah, i do remember that along with the delivery scene. πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

  2. upenreddy says:

    You gave voice to a child who was in the womb:) How cute it is:)

    “The atmosphere is weird,the bubble is missing,the serenity is lost and the place is unknown,wrong”. The feeling of the child would have been the same i guess.. provided the child could speak.

    By far your best work i feel. #Masterpiece.
    Cheers!!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thanks Upen. πŸ˜€
      Cute is just the word which forced my lips to curl! ^_^

      Liked by 1 person

  3. How can a beautiful short story not be close to anyone’s heart. It’s inevitable! I love the way you’ve shown the process of childbirth so tenderly through the eyes of an infant. Amazing. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks Aradhna!
      I am glad you read and appreciated it! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. upenreddy says:

    would have been exactly the same*

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Srishti, you are an amazing writer. You have beautifully described the changes of pregnancy and the birthing process so eloquently. This is a lovely tribute to every baby born in this world. Congratulations!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you very much, Jennifer!
      *my spirit dancing in heaven*
      ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you for this, it made it us feel what a child feels when he/she is inside a womb? Creative!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for stopping by!
      And thanks for the lovely comment too!

      Like

  7. Alisha says:

    That’s so beautiful to read. I could imagine the whole thing and guess who’s doing what without coming to the asterisks. Words at their best.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Alisha!
      I am so happy to read your comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. bowmanauthor says:

    There is a big difference between the terms “chidish” and “childlike”. I would call your story child-like with all the innocence and beauty of searching, absorbing mind. Well done.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I know ma’am. You are right absolutely. I intended to write that in the title as a paradox, so that the title is appropriate and does not give away what is in the story.
      But, I agree with you, no doubt!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. bowmanauthor says:

        I am so pleased I picked up on your innermost thoughts in a paradoxical world.

        Liked by 2 people

    2. I appreciate your comment. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  9. So interesting and wonderful how you gave voice to the unborn child being born into the world. You have a great ability to empathize. Cheers!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! I am so happy you visited my blog! πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  10. ladycamecu says:

    I enjoyed this! To give a different perspective to something that usually has no voice but shows us those very actions, it’s glorious how you captured that!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, for reading and taking out time to appreciate!
      ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Wonderfully original. I’ve never read anything from that perspective. I was relieved when the baby was born. In the middle, I thought it might be abortion. Empathy for the unborn is important and it is the foundation of how all children are treated in the world. I love this on many levels!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. Thank you.
      I wouldn’t say that I didn’t think of an ending like that, but somehow I changed that to what you have now read! :*

      Like

  12. Kathakali Dutta says:

    Beautifully written….d miracle known as human life profoundly captured…
    It moved me and exalted me and yet there was a genuine smile on my face!! πŸ™‚
    It reminded me of the movie ‘looks who’s talking’… an all-time favourite, might I just ads

    Liked by 2 people

    1. YOU are here! Ohmigod.
      Thanks for reading, commenting and appreciating.
      Cheers!
      Lots of love.

      Like

  13. Yashika says:

    Srishti,
    It was one of the most touching stories I’ve read so far. I loved your writing style and the way you described the magical moment.
    Happy Blogging,
    Yashika πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks yashika. I am so happy you took out time to read and comment. I appreciate your kind words. ^_^

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yashika says:

        I’m so glad to have come across your blog. You’re a talented writer. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I am visiting your blog soon.
        Get ready :p
        ^_^

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yashika says:

        Sure! My pleasure! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  14. I don’t knw how many have told u this, but I mst say it, u r an amazing writer…..this is a phenomenal post with such imbibing feeling, lovely……..and ur pictures r always in sync……..m going to read it again

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Saraansh thank you! You’ve told me this so many times that I am at a loss of words now to thank you!
      I appreciate your reading and taking out time to comment! πŸ™‚ *_*

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Its always a pleasure to read good stuff………keep going Srishti πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you again!
        And I will.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Wow! That was one of the most interesting short stories I’ve ever. I can’t explain how inspired I am!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for saying so. I am glad I could inspire you a little bit in some way! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  16. vividh98 says:

    Adroitly transitioned from words to actual idea. Good job!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! I appreciate your comment Vividh.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. charlypriest says:

    Very nice, at first I was confused as to what the liquid meant or basically about the story overall, but the ending twist was “touchΓ©”. Nicely done.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahahaha, okay!
      Thank you, for reading and sharing your views.

      Like

      1. charlypriest says:

        I mean it, it was really good twist at the ending. Job well done!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you. Coming from a writer like you means a lot! πŸ™‚

        Like

      3. charlypriest says:

        Well I did win the Pullitzer price for a reason….

        Liked by 1 person

  18. lorriebowden says:

    Powerful…beautiful! ❀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Lorrie. I appreciate your reading and commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. I love the title and then how the words are written so beautifully to express his feelings and then finally out in the world and welcomed by all πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Darshith. *_*
      I appreciate your view, a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome πŸ™‚ the words were really gripping and a happy ending was what I wasn’t expecting but good that you ended it this way πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I know, it was written in parts. I did think of an unhappy one but then I just overlooked that idea.
        Happy endings are also important!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yeah I can agree to this. But not always happy endings suit. Glad you made it a happy one πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Probably my first story to have happy ending, not that I have written many!
        I don’t know whether it suited this one or not, but perhaps sad one would have made me unhappy too.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. That’s kind of a load off for you & me. Never be unhappy, its so important. If it’s wrong also but makes you happy, do it. This was right & also made you happy and also all the readers. So win-win situation all around.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Ah, that brought a smile to my face! ^_^

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Smiles are good and rare when its su day night & a long Monday is awaiting you with its mighty claws and ferocious thunderous laughs 😦

        Liked by 2 people

      8. Monday, NO. Work awaits me! Lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Same here 😦 loads & loads. Hope we can endure that πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 2 people

      10. Yes. We will! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      11. Great. Then may be a good, long sleep can do wonders for us tomorrow πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

      12. Yeah. It will help. I am a narcoleptic, anyhow. πŸ˜›
        Good week ahead!

        Liked by 1 person

      13. Wow! Sleep is good. I don’t sleep much so I guess I will keep myself busy & hope for a great week ahead for both of us.

        Liked by 1 person

      14. ^_^ hope so too!

        Liked by 1 person

  20. amazingly written. it held me till the end.
    i have nominated you for the blogger recognition award, check this site
    https://roxxyvyasblog.wordpress.com/2015/08/30/blogger-recognition-award/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the comment and the nomination. I will surely see it soon! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  21. izza ifzaal says:

    It ain’t childish. .I love the emotions and the plot ..
    How smoothly you had me till the end πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Childish was supposed to be a paradox. I don’t why everyone is saying this to me. :/
      Maybe I wasn’t able to title it correctly.
      Thanks Izza, I appreciate your comment a lot! *_*

      Liked by 1 person

      1. izza ifzaal says:

        I am sorry. .I shouldn’t have said it. .
        But you rocked and smile πŸ™‚
        The title was apt. .I shouldn’t have said..

        Liked by 2 people

      2. No, No. You said it, that’s great. You don’t know how many people have said this to me, I am glad you said what you felt like.
        Ps: I welcome criticisms, don’t worry. ^_^ And yeah don’t be sorry. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      3. izza ifzaal says:

        A breath of relief πŸ™‚ thanks a ton bunch dear
        Keep rocking

        Liked by 1 person

  22. Really beautiful post. Very exquisite and descriptive in detailed words.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Your imagination being a foetus and than newly born child .

    Is really beautiful.

    I loved your childish story.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks a ton for stopping by and commenting.
      And yeah I Got the last line. πŸ˜›
      *_*

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Really smart writing! πŸ™‚
    I wonder if you’d mind checking out my blog, too? πŸ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I will surely. On my way…
      Thanks anyhow! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  25. ramexa says:

    Just so beautifully described!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for stopping by.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ramexa says:

        Anytime! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  26. BunKaryudo says:

    Very nice! It’s an unusual twist to look at the story from the baby’s point of view. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you!
      Unusual is the best word! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. BunKaryudo says:

        That’s true, although I should clarify that it was the nice kind of unusual (original and innovative) rather than the not so nice kind (walking slowly backwards and looking for the exit).

        It must be pretty warm and cosy in a baby’s little world. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to discover they’d really rather stay where they are, thank you very much.
        πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yeah, I took unusual positively only!
        And the baby actually feels comfortable where it initially stays!
        πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  27. Prathyusha Pillari says:

    Your writings are amazing! So I nominated you for the Liebster award! Check it out here https://pillarip.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you prathyusha. Congratulations for being nominated. I have already done this award, thanks for nominating me anyway. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  28. trablogger says:

    Never thought of such a perspective!! Yes, it is quite fascinating to think from the point of view of a life inside the womb. You gave me something to ponder!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Woah! Thanks for reading and appreciating.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. trablogger says:

        I am sure its my pleasure to have a new perspective πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  29. Your blog is AWESOME!

    Like

  30. yellowwolf80 says:

    Absolutely beautiful! Gave me goosebumps!

    Liked by 1 person

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