Posting after indeed a very long time, and something I hope makes sense to all my readers. Whoever didn’t take a look to the previous two poems in this series (you can read and see why I can’t call this a series yet I keep on calling it that ’cause I am unable to find a suitable word) and the one’s who have forgotten can check this link out and you will find the first one too in this itself- Unfinished Writings part 2 – The Unreached Destination.
I also hope I didn’t lose any of my readers because of this huge gap in my updating the blog as most of you are aware how torturous writer’s blocks are. As always your comments are appreciated and happy reading!
I think I am dying,
Going deeper into the abyss of hollowness.
Nothing seems meaningful,
Nothing gives satisfaction,
Nothing appears right,
Nothing offers a hope for utopia,
Nothing leaves me wondering at night,
Nothing holds me together.
But as I have heard,
Nothing has something.
Something boils the blood in my nerves,
Something forces my eyes to water,
Something stops me from unlocking the door of my heart,
Something hurts the wounds already healed,
Something makes me weak,
Something scares me to live.
But, why can’t I let go off everything?
Why can’t I ask for death when I want it?
Rather than dying few days, every week,
Why can’t I just move to God’s residence and find refuge?
Why do I have to be born on this planet if the ultimate truth was death?
What is it we have to live life for?
And finding the answer to this question takes our entire life.
People say in death there is solace,
I don’t agree at all,
We can never find calmness in death,
Leaving earth but knowing that others will suffer;
Does that give contentment?
I think not.
Do you think I contradicted myself?
No I didn’t,
I never said death will aid us,
‘Cause you don’t know what will happen afterwards,
(I took for granted earlier that I will meet the almighty)
It just allows you to slip out from here.
Maybe there is worse ahead,
Maybe peaceful and perfect,
Or maybe absolutely nothing.
I wish for the last one,
The most difficult and impossible one…